As my kids get older and more independant I have found that it takes more and more patience to get through the day. I can hear the resounding “DUH” coming from all of my readers, but when I first started staying home with them I really felt I was a patient as I could be. Now I see that I have to continue growing it and thickening my skin every day.
I try not to focus on the times I fail as a parent, but 90% of the time a failure on my part ends with me yelling. I hate when I yell. It is usually lazy parenting because I feel like I have run out of the ability to get on their level and be real with them. Yes, yelling usually ends whatever conflict was going on, but I didn’t solve anything in the long run. If your kid is not learning from your discipline it is pointless.
Which is a why I say, yelling sucks…
YELLING SUCKS THE JOY OUT OF THE ROOM. Think about the look on your kid’s face the last time you yelled at them. That wide eyed look is one of fear. If your child is obeying you out of fear, the second you are out of view the old behavior is going to come back. I want my kid to look at me and know I love him. When I am yelling, that is not how he feels.
YELLING SUCKS THE TRUST OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. This goes back to the whole aspect of your child fearing you. A child who is afraid of you doesn’t respect you. They may respect the pain that comes from your hand hitting them. They may respect the sadness that comes from you loosing it on them. They don’t, however, respect you as a trusted teacher. They don’t respect you as someone they can trust to demonstrate how to live a happy life.
YELLING SUCKS THE SATISFACTION OUT OF PARENTING. At the end of the day, when I lay my head on my pillow, I want to look back on what has happened with the feeling that I did my best to create a secure and happy environment for my family. If you are flashing back to the times you raised your voice throughout the day you are not going to look forward to getting up and “Dadding” again the next day. Parenting, although so very hard, is supposed to be wonderful, but unhappy kids are usually the result of lazy parenting. No child is happy sitting and watching PBS Kids all day, even if that is what they think they want.
Yelling sucks. We can do better Moms and Dads. We can do so much better!